In the past three months, we here at Brascoe Publishing have had a lot of requests for work. A lot of really bad ones. So many, in fact, that we thought it was high time to post a blog about it. Here is how you avoid getting a job with a publisher.
1. Forget that emailing from a website means that the recipient can see that you emailed from the website
One of the quickest ways to ruin your chances of getting a job with a publisher is to forget that when you email them from their website that you have no control over the subject line (usually). By not doing the yards and becoming familiar with the target company by researching the remainder of its website, and writing your email accordingly, you’ve taken the first step towards remaining unemployed.
2. Assume things – preferably as many as you can
The second step is to make assumptions. There is no point in reading through pages and pages of company information – or even one page, an About page (most websites have them) – because if you’ve done a course in editing or publishing, then you know how these places work. There is an Editing or Editorial Department; the company is run by men, and those men prefer to be addressed ‘Sirs’; and if the company is online, active, and appears successful, then clearly there are jobs aplenty.
3. Talk about your qualifications as much as possible
Don’t forget to assume things about yourself too: your huge lists of qualifications are mightily impressive; if you find them that way, no doubt the person at the other end (who works in the field, and probably has done for quite some time) will find them so too. Go your hardest. By the way, if you have done a degree in publishing or editing – yes, a whole degree – remember to only talk about how useful just one subject was. It’s even better if that is the only subject in which you actually did any good. The context of a highly focused, vocational-style degree is all just fluff and should be left out.
4. Believe, wholeheartedly, that as a published writer you would make a good editor or proofreader
Even if you don’t have experience in the area, and cannot provide solid examples of your work that back up your claims, you can always rest on the knowledge that you are a published writer. After all, publishers know how hard it is to become published, and they are aware of how much hard work goes into writing a book, let alone scoring a publishing deal. This should automatically make you a preferred candidate, right?
5. If applying for proofreading or editing work, don’t bother to check your spelling. It’s bound to be perfect!
As a person who has done proofreading and editing work before, don’t bother to check your spelling. You’re an editor and a proofreader, so it is bound to be absolutely perfect all the time. If you work on computers a lot, then your typing accuracy is of course going to be ace as well. So – go forth and email! Remember to hit send before you check for errors.
6. Talk about how much knowledge you have, and get the title of your roles incorrect
All of your qualifications and experience are so fantastic – who could deny them – but to make sure you absolutely do not get the job, you might want to consider getting the title of your role incorrect. For example, substantive editors, commissioning editors, copyeditors, etc work in publishing; but subeditors work in newspapers. It’s a subtle difference, very small, but it will take you that extra step over the line to the trash. One can’t be too careful!
7. Don’t end your letter properly
The final step towards not getting a job is to have a poor ending on your letter. Don’t ask the recipient to get back to you, tell them you will call them, tell them you’d like to send a full resume (actually, it’s preferable if you don’t even have a resume), or anything. Just end your letter with ‘yours sincerely’ and your name. Remember, too, to leave out your phone number because if they can reach you then you just might – even after all your effort above – get a phone call.
And you’re done!
Whew! It’s a lot to remember, but these seven steps are the key elements in avoiding employment with a publisher. If you can do this, then it will free you up to move in another direction and find something else. Have fun!
